The Teary Eyes

        

         
      I have been into multiple assumptions and judgments that people are throwing in me, sometimes I agree with those and sometimes I’m not, since I do well-known myself more. I will sincerely describe myself through this blog, I will share with everyone what are those things behind my being and character. So I am Irish Sanchez, someone who’s having those teary eyes, someone who has shallow tears. Of course, I have my angelic side and a demonic side as well, and these brought advantages and disadvantages in my life. Some of my angelic sides are, I have a soft heart, and that’s why I am so crybaby also, I easily feel pity for those homeless in streets, and seeing their situations can make me cry as well as watching them asking some coins or money with random people, and even those people who are sick and watching them trying to fight and survive their battle can also make me cry, which also one of the disadvantages on my dream to be a Doctor someday, however, as the thing that I am always telling with myself “I am more powerful than my tears” so I will keep trying my best to fruitfully achieve and pursue that dream one day, I will fulfill my promise with myself and family that, that dream will not always be a dream because that dream will turn into a reality someday. Behind that wonderful dream is, since I was young, I have been idolizing our doctors, nurses, and all hospital staff, I admire them so much for how they help people heal, how they care and treat them, how they help people to overcome their sick, and a lot more. Hence, I keep telling myself the thing “I hope someday I will also help people who are sick and who are in that worst situation” and hopefully someday, the little girl before that keep dreaming to be a professional Doctor will successfully be a professional Doctor. Behind those angelic sides, some of my demonic sides are, I am so judgmental once I exceed my limitations, sometimes I disobey my parents and what my parents want me to do, what is being dealt as well as their rules with me, and I’m always breaking their rules, sometimes I am not reflecting also with their preaches and just ignore those, I am so selfish that I can’t respect someone’s decisions sometimes and I am just into my decisions, opinions, and preferences, I’m so aggressive and vengeful, and I easily feel envious and insecure with someone to the point that I even insult them although they are not even doing anything wrong with me.

       I am also a kitchen girl, within a day, I spend much time in our kitchen, not because I’m just eating the whole time but I do cook different dishes also, I am so addicted to cooking that I can’t even spend a day without cooking something for us to eat. I love cooking but am not that good with it, I enjoy cooking and I am constantly learning some new things with it. I am also easy to approach, if you need someone with whom you can share your problems with, you can count on me, I can be your comfort zone and ranting buddy, though I am not good at giving advice I will try my best to lessen the heaviness in your heart and don’t worry because I know my limitations, I can respect your privacy especially you and I’m not going to give a judgment while listening with you, confessing your problems. I also love uplifting someone especially my fellow women, and I am really into Women’s Empowerment, but I can’t deny that I discriminate and judge someone sometimes and I can’t control it. I am so in love with nature, I am so obsessed with sceneries and amazing views, and those can catch my attention easily.

        Since I was young, everyone used to call me “mannangit” (crybaby), that’s why I brought it in growing up. A lot of people have been hating me for this characteristic that I have, because every time I cry, sometimes they feel annoyed with it because I’m getting too much sometimes. To the point that everything makes me cry, in happiness, sadness, and in anger, small, simple, and big things, in private or in a public place. I cry in happiness and it’s a tear of joy, I cry in sadness because I feel lonely when I’m sad, and seems like I have no sympathizer and I am alone in the world of sadness,  that feels like I was trapped in a dark place with no single light, and I cry in anger because every time I express my anger, I feel guilty afterward and it’s the worst feeling. I, being a crybaby been brought advantages in my life, for instance, I am expressing all my anger, pain, resentment, and displeasure through crying when I feel like I have no one, I have no one to lean on and to rant on. Hence, crying has been my way of lessening the heaviness I feel in my heart and my feelings. Moreover, its the best advantage is I am always getting a lot of lessons and realizations in every drop of my tears and as well as by reflecting with that characteristic of mine. Having a soft heart, everything can make your heart melt, that make you more appreciative and more grateful with anything which can make little or simple things will have more value because of you being so appreciative. The advantages also of my demonic or bad sides is I get to know myself better, I saw my mistakes that pushes me to learn from those realizations and to improve, grow, and to be the better version of me.

          All over those characteristics and personality that I have, have been brought various consequences in my existence. Those help me grow adequately and gave me some guts to explore and enjoy life and let go of all those things that gradually eating me down, gave me a lot of lessons that I should take in growing up as a person. Those teary eyes have their deep meanings, and all of those characteristics I have, have a lot of impact on me. Every drop of my tears has been a great help because those served as my sadness expresser,  I can express here my sadness and words I cannot express.